The Importance of Men's Mental Health!
Updated: Jul 11, 2023
As I scroll through social media and see multiple men/women/other defending and fighting to raise awareness for men’s mental health, there is still a lot of stigma that surrounds it, and this is something that I am wanting to explore today.
What should a typical Man be like?
This is a very good and very difficult question. You often hear phrases such as “Now that’s a real man”, “A real man would treat you like this” and so on, but does the action they are describing define what a man should be?
You tend to find that a real man is someone who does the labour work, is a general handyman, and generally is good with his hands. I am telling you now, this is not me, I am a terrible handyman and only just know how to change a lightbulb. Does this mean that I am not a real man? There are many other examples of this as well.
Personally, I don’t think you can define such a vast group of people by what they do or how they act. I think it is important to realise that people are different, regardless of their gender or what is between their legs, no man is going to be the same.
So, to answer the question what should a typical man be like? A typical man should be whatever they want to be. They should be content with who they are and never let anyone else tell them how to act.
How should Men portray their emotions?
It is quite common for men to be the rock in a lot of situations. Generally, we are very good at holding things together, listening, and taking on other people’s problems. What we are not good at, is sharing our own.
This could be for several reasons, one could be when we have tried to express how we are feeling we are met with a man-up response, which means that we are now scared to express ourselves as it is seen as not manly. On the back of this, it can also be seen as a weakness, as we are very good at holding other people together, we don’t want to be seen as not being able to hold ourselves together.
Another reason could just be that it’s uncomfortable, it is not common practice for men to express their feelings to each other or anyone and so if it ever comes to it, it can feel awkward and unnatural, and so it is avoided completely.
However, regardless of the why, you need to know it is so important to talk about how you feel because the more things get bottled up, the harder they become to manage, and the harder they become to manage the harder it is to get yourself out of that negative headspace, which ultimately, can have huge repercussions.
So, to answer the question, how should men portray their emotions? Clearly, boldly, and proudly. Do not worry about how the other person is going to respond, as it is important for you to say what you need to say. Communication is a vital part of any relationship and expressing yourself is a vital part of having a healthier mind, so let your emotions out.
My personal dealings with mental health struggles as a man.
This might not be something you are interested in, but I feel it is important to express what I have gone through and how changing my mindset has massively helped my mental health.
In the past (and sometimes present), I have always been an entertainer. I have been the one in the group who tells the jokes, makes people laugh, and generally creates positive vibes. I was always to have this role as I love making people smile, and the easiest way to do that is through laughter.
As I always say, to make someone laugh is to bring out an uncontrollable smile.
So, through acting like this people (understandably) created this idea in their mind of the kind of person I was. When it came to deeper relationships i.e. romantic relationships, it would get to a point where I show my other sides. Through this, I would open up about certain ways I was feeling, and it would always be met with “This is not the person I knew when we first met”, so I stopped sharing.
Whilst it wasn’t the typical man-up response, I then felt like I had to be the person who would listen, understand, and give back as opposed to being the one who could be listened to, understood, and have advice. Which is something I think a lot of men go through.
As a result, most of my relationships didn’t last over a year, and 9 times out of 10, this was because I let things bottle up and then would just not be able to take any more and leave. I can distinctly remember as I was ending one of my relationships, the other person saying to me “You just never talked to me”. By then though, it was way too late for me.
Then came a relationship that completely turned this idea around for me, and unfortunately, it was not a positive experience, but it did make me understand my worth.
To cut a very long story short, my communication was taken away from me. I was not able to talk about how I felt, I was not allowed to talk about anything about myself and how they made me feel, and I was not allowed to bring anything negative up. This lasted almost 2 years, and when it ended, I then realised the importance of communication and opening up and truly expressing yourself.
Following this, I started to open up more to friends and family, I spoke a lot about what had happened in the past and generally how I was feeling, and the relief I felt after letting everything out was amazing! I honestly felt like a new person, whilst things still lingered in the back of my mind, I felt like so much baggage had been taken off and it left room for me to be able to focus on myself and how I wanted to be.
Whilst this was a very extreme example, I know that a lot of men feel the same way. They feel as if their communication has been stripped and they are not able to talk about how it is they’re feeling or explore why it is they’re feeling that way.
I just want you all to know, that this is not right, and you have the right to feel any way you want, you are entitled to every single emotion, and you are definitely more than entitled to share that, and if that other person is not willing to listen, then maybe it is time to assess your situation because you deserve to be heard and listened to.
Comentários