Is It Okay To Be Selfish?

You may have grown up hearing “don’t be so selfish”, “make sure to not be selfish in life” etc. Well whilst being selfless can be very important, it is also important to remember that being selfish is perfectly okay too.

Which means the question I am exploring today is:

Is it okay to be selfish?

Is there such a thing as a truly selfless act?

When I was at university, one of my housemates raised a really interesting point. They said to me “Jake, there is no such thing as a truly selfless act as you are always gaining some self-satisfaction from it”. Now before this, I was a firm believer that being selfish and being selfless were both completely opposite ends of the spectrum. However, after this, it did change my perspective on selfless acts, as they are right, we are always going to gain some satisfaction from placing good into the world.

So, does that mean we are selfish? Maybe. Does that mean we should stop? Absolutely not.

All because you gain something from it, does not take away from the good that you have intended. If you give £1000 to charity and through doing it you feel good, or you only do it to feel good, it doesn’t take away from the fact that the charity is still £1000 better off and will put that money towards a good cause. Sure, modesty is a great attribute to have, however, still willing to put good into the world regardless of whether it comes from a place of selfishness or selflessness is still putting good into the world.

When would it be important to be selfish?

As much as most of us do not like to be, it is important for us to be selfish in certain situations. A prime example of this is in a relationship. Now, I am not saying that it needs to be completely one-sided and you should be the only one getting something out of it, however, you should be getting something out of it. It’s important that your wants/desires are being met as well as you being able to meet their wants as well. It may feel selfish for you to say “I need you to be able to meet my needs if this is going to work”, however, it is an important thing to do. They should ask the same of you, and if neither of you can meet these or find compromises that you are both willing to accept, then you need to consider other options potentially.

Essentially, as a human, you will have certain standards in life, it is important that these are met or are as close as possible for you to feel content in life.

Can being selfish improve my life?

It absolutely can! Carrying on from the last point, it is important to be selfish at times so that you are getting the most out of life. Let me phrase it this way, if you spend your life catering to other people without thinking about yourself, you will not enjoy life as much as you want to. Whilst you can still absolutely think of others and I would encourage you to do so, you need to make sure that you are doing okay as well. How could you possibly make others happy, if you are not willing to make yourself happy?

When should I not be selfish?

Whilst being selfish is massively important, it is also very important to still be compassionate in life. It is important to take other people’s thoughts and feelings into account. If your selfishness is a hindrance to others, then you have definitely gone too far the other way. So, remember, even if there is no such thing as a completely selfless act, you are still able to do things for others, still make other people feel good, or have a good day.

Overall, I think it is safe to say that it is absolutely perfectly okay to be selfish within reason, only you know what you want and need in life, and it is important to meet that in life. Without it, you can never be truly content. However, on the flip side, becoming too selfish so that it puts the people around you down is then way too far, so try and balance the two.